This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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