I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
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Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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