i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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