you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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