The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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