is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
