And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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it glows. i had to have it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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