I looked at my own cervix.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
