I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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