she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
