he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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