Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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