yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
