Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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