I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
