I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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