Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
