Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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