i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
