Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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