I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
