i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
