He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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