Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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