I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't deserve a penis
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
