apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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