Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
