that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
