I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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