So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
