Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
