ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
