A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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