We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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