i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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