I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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