you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
