i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
