ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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