i think my tv is drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
