So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
