I can text with my tongue
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
