is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
