Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
