a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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