My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
