he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
