Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
