today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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