Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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