you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
