I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
