Too much gin, very little bucket
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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