Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
