I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
