finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
