are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
