his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
