Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so let's talk penis.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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