A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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