I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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