It's Friday. Sex?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
