So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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