I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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