Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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