You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
