you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
